From my own journey, though it be short, I have come to the conclusion that we should never give up on the pursuit of knowing God, especially when it feels as though nothing makes sense.
Its easy to ignore and turn away from someone you are completely unaware of.
Its easy to turn away from someone you don't know or love.
Its easy still to turn away from someone you've "miss" - heard of but already don't like.
It gets harder to turn away from someone you know loves you.
But its almost impossible to turn away from someone who's love you have received and to whom you have given love, and still expect to live in peace…
This is my reality when it comes to Jesus.
Since I have walked with Him, it seems impossible to walk away. Because, it is in the walking with Him that I have learnt what love is, and seen life and people through a perspective I never knew I could reach or had within me.
Its when I stop consciously walking alongside Him, that I begin to falter on every grain of doubt that makes its way through the channel of reason.
This is a journey I never expected to be so congruously simple and complex… all at the same time.
There are always so many questions, and hardly any straight answers.
Is it meant to be this complicated? How can someone be so far along this "journey" and still feel so lost at times?
Why do we seem to believe only what we can see - when there are endless examples of times that we thought we knew because we could see, yet later learnt that it wasn't at all as it seemed. In that case, why is it so hard to believe in the unseen? Maybe, at times, its actually safer to believe in what we can't see rather than what we can… because what is seen is often deceiving but what is unseen, has already been seen by God…
Like the future, is unseen.
When your heart and your head (meaning YOU) are in a relationship with the Creator of all things… it is then that life begins to hold meaning.
And all the uncertainties that whisk past will one day be distant memories, as the reality of God's love evolves within our very being. At the core of our identity.
The struggle between trying to define God, and allowing God to define me feels endless; though there must be a limit. For if time had a start it must also have a finish… What shall we believe? That which I think I can see or Him who is in the unseen and the seen; who is beyond time, but has given time to us. The One who has not detached Himself from us, but has engraved His initials on our hearts - that we may discover as we remove the barriers and bare our souls towards Him. The one who can never be without Love, for He is infinite and His very essence is love. The One who is beyond the very word "Him" or any gender, but in our finiteness we tame and make "sense" of in order to embrace God within our slowly enlarging capacity.
The longer you stay, the more you know, the more you lose, the more you love.
Trust. Faith. Hope. and of course Love.
