I hate comparison amongst people. Yet, I do it about myself all the time.
The only comparing I think is beneficial, is to compare myself to Jesus, not in trying to weigh who is better, because then I will never win. But in the sense of measuring whether I am more like Jesus today, than I was yesterday.
If you're going to compare, compare yourself with Jesus in a way that encourages you to keep on keeping on…
He is our example, and people are not our competition.
When you become more like Jesus, comparing yourself to others becomes irrelevant, because you end up being thankful that you are the way you are… and you begin to realise that you are the way you are for a reason, a very special reason.
Let's try to enter into 2012 with a sense of purpose, expecting it to be a year unlike the last; unique in its own right. This requires, along with several other aspects, an element of change and an ounce of acceptance. Acceptance in the sense that there are some things I can't control, predict, or plan but with my faith in God, I can still trust that I am heading in the right direction and on the right course. There can be many paths (and people) along the way, as long as they're still… on the way.
And change? well there must always be change. If there is no change, there is no flexibility, and when there is no flexibility there is limitation. And when there is limitation (internally) along our paths, then there is a great chance of simply stopping and becoming stagnant, perhaps initially for a "break" that unnoticeably becomes a permanent camp out. Never fully there, never fully here, never fully anywhere.
I have learnt that there are few things in life that I can be one hundred percent sure of. What concerns me is not whether my opinion on theological, cultural or social conflicts and debates are correct. There may be things I used to think I knew knew knew… which today I can't stand alongside anymore. There are only a few things I am sure sure sure about, of which one is that God loves people and cares about people and He wants us to do the same. If you ask yourself, "what's the ONE thing that makes my insides boil, what is the ONE thing I would give my life for to make a difference, what is the ONE thing I want to see change, what is the ONE thing I carry great passion for"… if there is nothing you can think of, may 2012 be the year where you allow yourself to feel once again, even though it can cause great pain and doubt. Being numb isn't fun for anyone. When you become numb to your passions, you become numb to yourself. When you are numb to yourself, it never only stays within yourself but reaches to those you love.
If there is one thing that makes me scream on the inside, its when I hear, read or see injustice. But this isn't something only a few of us feel, its probably innate within all of us because we were created in the image of God who is completely Just and completely Love, whether we accept that or not. Though I can never fully understand why it is so hard to believe that we were created in the image of an amazing God and were created for purpose, but it's easier to believe that we just happened upon life. Is it because the acknowledgement of that reality, requires a responsibility that most of us are not willing to carry?
Sometimes I wonder why I torture myself by reading articles and books that fuel this scream inside of me, am I waiting until it is so loud it can actually be heard audibly? or am I waiting until something has changed so that the scream has reason to be silenced? Sadly, in this world, I think there will always be an internal scream, because there is always someone with an internal cry for help. Sometimes heard, sometimes not. Once I have read, once I have seen, once I know… I can no longer act as if I don't. This scream, instead of causing chaos, can be channelled into guided creativity…
Maybe not everybody believes they have a purpose but surely most people, if they really try, admit that there is something on the inside of them that wants to fight against what is unjust.
What if that which is "not right" wasn't considered as "just the way it is"… what if all the things rightly unjust, were questioned and challenged, even if it took more than one lifetime? I don't mean, unjust in that some people have five cars while others have one. I mean rightly unjust in that some people have paid holidays but in other parts of the world people don't even get weekends off. I mean unjust in how some women have their dream fairy tale weddings, and other women have lost all hope in ever finding freedom or joy. I mean unjust in how some kids are bloated with food, drink and snacks daily while others are lucky if they get one meal and some water every few days.
When is the last time you heard your internal scream? Because, it is possible that you yourself have become deaf to that which fuels your purpose. If that's the case, then it is no wonder that you feel the way you do about purpose and life. Maybe.
Let's together, allow 2012 be the year where we begin to take responsibility for that which causes great pain in our world: Even though its probably not "my" fault.
much love
xx
