Need.
But somehow I manage to live most of my days, unaware of His presence or voice. I seem to get by "ok" without acknowledging Him everywhere, everyday. I wake up, I scroll through social media, I eat breakfast, I drink coffee, I momentarily think "I should really read my Bible first", but then I see the time and I rush to get ready. I get to work, I do what I do. Somewhere in the day I try and read (more like skim through) my Bible again. When work is done I'll often go to the gym, come home exhausted, shower, prepare and eat dinner, crash on the couch, watch something or other on TV and then drag myself to bed. The day is done. Without stopping to ponder, meditate or even pray. And then I think to myself, where is God? Why is He absent in my life? I never hear from Him. I don't feel close to Him. I feel distant. Why is He allowing me to stay in this season?
But the next day still isn't much different to the last. Does this sound familiar at all??
Everyday you feel more and more disconnected and less and less like yourself. But I know that we all need God for a thousand times endless reasons. And I know I need God if I want to accept who I am, love how He made me and feel completely at ease in myself. That way I can begin to forget about little ol' me. Gosh, what a relief that would be!
But without Him, my life consists of selfish days, selfish hours, selfish minutes, just getting by, feeling confused and unfulfilled. Time just passes. Sometimes carrying pain, bitterness, regret and anger more than is necessary if I but offered my heart daily into His hands.
I don't want to live a life only for myself, a life of just getting by. Forgetting to focus on what's real, what's important, what makes life worth living.
God, help me to learn to live on purpose.
Love stronger
Forgive easier
Listen longer
Trust harder
See clearer
Hear better
Stand taller
Speak more confidently
Believe undoubtedly.
Teach us to live even more aware of our deep need for You. Show us how to dwell within the expanse of your Constant Love that is always giving life and more life. Compelling us to chase after Your Beauty with passion, craze and vitality. Never giving up. Just as You never give up. Please, God, don't ever stop chasing our distracted hearts.
“Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are. Set the world right; Do what’s best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves... You’re in charge! You can do anything you want! You’re ablaze in beauty...”
(Matthew 6: 9-13 MSG)
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