my home, my chosen family

My Husband is my home.

So much rest found in those words.

I know that no matter what, home is never far away

I can always find comfort there where he is

We do things quite differently to each other

He takes his time and thinks things through quietly

He responds calmly and always considerately

He chooses love, over anything else

I have never experienced selfishness from him

He is truly, the greatest at this whole love thing

On our wedding day, after we'd said the "I do's" 

The most prevailing feeling I carried was, I feel safe and I feel at home

It was a deep sense of love, a kind I'd never felt before

It was calm and quiet 

Like waking up to an earth covered in snow, 

bright but ever so still

complete silence

The peaceful kind, not the eerie kind. 

There was no chaos

not confusion

no fear or doubt

only complete, simple, profound trust

It was freeing.

On the morning of, I woke insanely early, 

Way before the alarm clock even though I only slept a mere few hours

It was raining outside, no it was pouring outside

Regardless of unanswered prayers for clear skies, I felt joy and excitement.

Everything was funny to me that morning

I woke my sister up with a delightful song about how it was raining and I was getting married, while I was painting my own nails in bed. 

it was a slow morning for the first two hours and suddenly it became a whirlwind of hair, make-up, flowers, people, my dress is wrinkled, iron the dress, photographs, quickly get in the car, don't get the dress dirty in the rain, don't be late don't be late don't be late.

Sure enough we were late.

My dress was wrinkled again the moment I sat in the car

It rained basically the WHOLE day 

And even though it was insanely hot two days before, on OUR day it was really cold. Actually the cold helped my shoes fit better since I hadn't worn them in yet and it made sure we weren't too sweaty since that happens, even to the best of us, when we're nervous. Right?

Sure enough, just as everyone predicted, the day went by so quickly

I didn't notice the little details and I didn't care

I didn't even get to try all the dessert. Desert? No definitely dessert. 

In fact, I could barely move with fear of my sleeves falling off my shoulders

There was laughter, there were tears, no ugly crying thankfully. We still get people telling us how good the speeches were and how beautiful my dress was.

It was a day full of love and appreciation

Somehow underneath the fairy-lights and amidst the hum of conversation, there were small moments where I felt completely alone and a little sad. I'm not so good at small talk especially in a loud and crowded place and for some reason when you're a bride people aren't sure what to say to you except marriage and weddingy things and that can only go so far when there's a whole lot of people wanting to speak to you but aren't quite sure what to say. 

My main desire for our wedding day was for people to like the food, not get bored but enjoy being there and to experience a side of Jason and I that isn't generally so prevalent. 

Weddings do that. 

They bring out the best in a couple through the love that is felt, to seeing the families they grew up in and from hearing the speeches people give about them. 

Make-up helps too.

The sadness was simply because I knew that because our wedding day had finally come, so was the day approaching when my family and friends would have to leave again. When you have the most special niece in the world like I do, going even a day without seeing her face or hearing her voice is hard. Imagine a year, or more. 

In a way, weddings are no different to regular life as a whole, except for all the extra big smiles and dressed up people. There are moments of all sorts but the overall feeling you go away with is, "I am so thankful to have found this love". A love so deep and so wide, you can get lost in it and forget to appreciate everyday together because its so consistently in your face. 

But everyday I am thankful even though it's not always seen.

I have found the greatest man in the world who for some reason chose to love me.

Suddenly we became our own little family (that'll grow one day I'm sure). 

It really makes everything and anything else that happens more bearable and brings such greater meaning to life.

Family does that.

Love does that.

Family is love, real life messy love.

People always say, your husband or wife is the only family you get to choose.

Take that advice seriously! It's not about finding "the one" it's about finding someONE who you'll love and who will love you on your ugliest, worst days as if it's your most beautiful. It's about a love that continues to grow fuller and stronger. Each moment may not be beautiful or picturesque but they will build your life and create memories that you can look back and learn from. 

Slowly become the family you want for your children and for each other. 

Your family can create a better future for others.

When you get married you become a family in every sense of the word.

Let's make the future of FAMILY, brighter.

                                   

 i LOVE you