Have you felt the wind today?

It's like I've been chasing the wind for so long,

that its brought me to a place, but suddenly gone very still

Now I'm just waiting, hoping for a mere hint of a breeze, to remind me of why I'm here.

I used to long to live in obedience to the One I follow

It felt so clear in a way. 

There was a vision, a dream 

Sometimes the wind is wild, so dramatic. Begging for attention.

To deny it exists would be plain ignorance, particularly in the midst of a storm. When its strength pulls trees from their roots and crushes branches into dust. We know that it is real.


Other times it's ever so still, so quiet. As if resting in the warmth of the sunshine or eavesdropping on all the people passing by. In this instance, it's almost like the wind has vanished. But do we deny its presence when it can't be obviously felt? Do we forget what the sound of the breeze through the leaves sounds like? Do we begin to doubt whether we've ever really felt annoyance from the way it tangled our hair into a nest?

 

So it is with the Almighty One. Our God, who ever so beautifully loves us and in my attempt at a hopeful interpretation, feels as if we're at a stage in our relationship that allows us to be in complete silence but still enjoy the company: knowing we're together. Does He really need to prove Himself every time I don't hear from Him. Is it not enough to simply know that He is here?

If you haven't obviously heard something from God in a while, but you're longing for some guidance, maybe try to see it as though He believes that we know Him better by now than to worry about whether He's abandoned "me". Can we try and rest in that knowledge? I honestly do know one place we can always go to find Him or hear from Him. If only I'd bother to make more of an effort. Relationships go both ways, why do we expect any different when it comes to God? Why aren't we more captivated by the stillness?




Truth is

I'm not captivated

I'm tired

I feel like I'm stuck, with no where to turn that feels right,

and the doors are closed to the ways I would choose if I could.

But if I meet you at a cafe, at church, or anywhere else public and social, I'll be sure to smile and tell you, "I'm fine." "I know it's only a season, it won't be like this forever". and I'm sure you will tell me, "you know God is in control, He loves you, He wouldn't have brought you this far, to leave you now." 

something along those lines, right?

Think about how good you are at diverting conversations off of you, pretending you're fine, or telling people exactly the things you know you need to believe for yourself, but really you can't.

So what makes you think that the people you encounter everyday are any different to you? 

Maybe what people tell us, in a weak attempt at seeming strong, isn't always the truth

Not many have the patience or time, to stop and wait, or to draw out more. Because if you wait long enough, you will see the truth. If you ask enough questions, you will hear a glimmer of the truth. 

But people are very quick to give cliches and helpful answers that sound great to those that are doing fine, but in reality are of no help to the people they're intended for. 

Have you ever felt like you got on a roller coaster too soon. Without any aid, you're not strapped in, sitting alone, you want to get off, but no one can hear you and all they are telling you is that it's going to be so fun. But no one has come to sit next to you or help you off if they can see you're not ready. 

That's what a cliche answer feels like.

Our stories are not the same, so they can't be compared

But I'd like to hear your story, because I like stories.

I honestly do believe that this isn't forever, I don't know how, but I know that deep down.

In moments like these, all we want is a friend. 

someone to laugh with

someone who will draw us out of our "self"

someone who will simply hang out with us

bring the best out 

enjoy the same things

make us feel like we are interesting

ask questions 

listen and wait - because everyone knows how hard it is to express our true self... and after all of that, after you have sat, loved, stayed and waited... THEN you can tell me how amazing you know Jesus is and remind me how much I love Him. Because I always do still love Him. That never changes. 

And out of everyone, He definitely understands the most. 

He asks all the right questions - the deep thinker ones

He definitely wins at the waiting game

Be a friend to others, like Jesus would be #newyearsresolution? #waystoendtheyearwell?


If we are made to be in relationship, why don't we try and make more of an effort to excel in what we are made for. 

In the end it's always about the people, the individual. 

Even though I write this, I honestly find it so hard to live out.

And yes your husband should be your best friend but he can't be your girlfriend. You'll need both, separately