Contagious

I can't speak for everyone, but as a girl, I seriously still struggle with my body and feeling free and beautiful and confident or classically sexy in my own skin. I should say woman, but I still feel like I'm just a girl. Though, actually, I am a woman. I'm 30 now after all. You'd think that after so many years I would have developed a deeper sense of security in who I am and how I look. But no, here I am, still battling with the person I see in the mirror. Over-analysing, judging harshly and unfairly. What does that mean for our little girls and teenage beauties? How are they handling their thoughts towards themselves? How can we as women lead the way if we're no better than they are at this whole "happy with how I look" thing. 

You can be in a wonderful, beautiful place with so much to be thankful for, but if you feel ugly, it's like a grim shadow has blinded your eyes to reality and all you can see is everything you hate about yourself. And it shines through your posture and countenance and face expression and yes even your heart.

When you feel ugly, you feel like a nobody, you feel dirty and unwanted. You battle between wishing you were invisible and hoping someone would finally see the real you. People might be surprised to read all this, because majority of the time, if anyone says anything to me it goes along the lines of "you're so pretty", "you don't need to watch what you eat, you're so skinny." By the way, I hate it when people say that. 

As if being skinny is the be all and end all of beauty. And no I can't eat anything I want to, I am slim because of what I choose to eat and what I choose not to eat. I eat what I eat because I want to be healthy, but since I am tall, have a small frame and bone structure, when I eat well I look "skinny".

Most of the time I still feel like an awkward adolescent unsure of what to do with my hands. 

But I'm heading into that stage in life, where I want to be an example and conquer this insecurity thing before I might have a daughter some day, and before my niece and my goddaughter grow up and start looking in the mirror and looking at the girls on tv and looking at their friends in school and observing how the world responds differently to the pretty girls. 

Speaking from experience, I think it's important that we not only compliment our daughters on their appearance. It's surprising how insecure and jealous you become, when all you hear your whole life is how pretty you are. You start to feel like there's nothing else people are interested in but your looks. And when you gain weight or you have no friends or you haven't been told you're pretty in a while, well, very quickly you start the self hate talk. Because, your whole life you believed you were a nobody unless somebody thought you were attractive. You started to strive to be seen as physically beautiful, you hungered for it, you chased after it, you began to use it as your weapon. But you never felt fulfilled, you were never pretty enough. You still aren't. There's always someone else who looks better than you. Then you realise that, one day, you will lose this face and this body, so who will care to know me then? 

Don't waste your youth chasing after beauty or physical approval. The most beautiful women aren't the hairless ones with the perfect clear skin, the toned legs, flat tummy, big dreamy eyes, or full lucious hair. 

The most beautiful people, are the ones who search for the truth in others, who have overcome pain and hardship and now carry God's grace in their smiles and His love like a favourite everyday outfit. Forgiving, understanding, and encouraging, always. And laughter of course, brings the best out in others. 

True beauty is contagious. It's like love. It's not jealous or boastful. 

Let's encourage our daughters with confidence and acceptance beyond their physical image. Let's teach our girls and boys that beautiful isn't defined through perfection or the people we see on our screens. Let's show them what true beauty is through God's love and acceptance towards us. But let's be real. Don't stop saying, "you're beautiful." Just don't stop there either. 

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”

1 Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG